Week.... Something or another

You won't believe it! This is my garden:

Yes: my garden. Well, our garden. Mine and Nandi. 

I want to tell you that this is the reason I haven't blogged for so long. I want to tell you that this is what grew from a few measly seeds and some compost. I want to tell you about how successful our square meter gardening project has been. I want to. But I can't. 

Square meter garden "version one" was a complete disaster. The extra soil we harvested from the bottom of the yard, or the compost we bought from the store, one of the two, was infested with fly larvae. Hundreds of them. They hatched and we were infested. Completely. It was like a scene from a horror movie. And really really gross. They ate all the newly growing roots from our seeds and the garden was no more. 

When I eventually dug up the soil there was no trace of any life except hundreds of fly larvae cocoons. Eeeeeeeeeeeeew! 

We started again. From scratch. This time. I went to see some proper farmers at a proper farmers market and got some proper compost made from proper cow poop. And then... I cheated. I bought seedlings: spinach, cabbage, onion and lettuce. It's all they had but I was determined to give this a try.

And just look at it:

A little garden all of our own. We have watered it religiously. It's no less a commitment than a cat or a dog. We went away for a few days last week and the whole time I was checking the weather channel to make sure my babies were getting rained on, or else I would have called in a friend to "spinach sit". This is a stressful deal! But infinitely rewarding. At least I hope it will be. Tonight we try our first salad from our garden. I can't wait,

Week 3: The Horror! The Horror!

This week started with a wonderful post on the Facebook link to the blog. It came from my best friend since I was 12 who has a very, very successful traditional veggie garden. Katherine wrote:

"LOL Zil, you make me laugh. Blue watering cans are not 'nancy boy' - only pink ones are. Blue ones are so manly they can even earn you a free tractor in certain parts of 'Merica. *see footnote for Terms and conditions. My watering can is green - like my thumb  Regarding the non appearance of little veggie babies - have patience plant-dad-to-be; I've noticed that sometimes seeds take a little longer than the packet says to come up - especially if you planted them slightly deeper than advised. Also, never mind the watering, I hope you are chatting to and loving those little seeds every day. I'm kidding. But not really - plants respond REALLY well if you talk to them and love them. For real. Try telling them how excited you are to meet them and maybe they'll come up faster. You might even want to get in there and plant kisses all over that stinky tray - planting kisses makes happy plants! (Ok, that last part I really am kidding about) One last thing; does that box have drainage? I know it's a really 'gardening 101' thing to ask and I'm sure you've thought of it. But just in case you haven't - drill some holes in the bottom asap or your plants will just rot. Unless the instructions say otherwise, but I can't see why they would ...

 *sorry, no tractor, I just completely made that up. Besides, your watering can has little blue spots on it, nancy boy." 


So... apparently I am as bad at this as I was saying. We had no drainage. We had wrapped the box in plastic at the bottom in case the table it is on collapsed. The plastic had no holes. I'm retarded. When we cut holes into the plastic at the font corners, water poured out. Not too badly, but enough to have me realizing that Katherine saved our garden. And in the nick of time.

So we sliced the plastic open to make sure we wouldn't have any more drainage issues.

That was the most exciting thing that happened this week with the garden. I have taken Katherine's advice and now as soon as I get home I open the kitchen door and talk to the plants-to-be. I also leave the door open all evening so the plants feel like part of the family.

This would all be fine except for one thing. We have grown something. A huuuuuuuuuuge amount of flies. Millions of them. I even made my own fly catcher to try and get rid of them. So far: not one fly caught. I really do suck at this.

I'm starting to think I have a black thumb. Rest assured however, dear reader, that we will persevere until we have as crop of delicious veggies! Stay with me. We can use all the support we can get.


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If you would like to see some more of Katherine's writing, you can check out her blog at: 

http://tworandfifty.blogspot.com

She really is brilliant.

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Week 2: Hurry Up and Wait.

A week ago we finished our garden and planted our seeds. The next day I went to "Plastic Land" and bought my very first watering can. A little blue one. I felt like a nancy boy. This feeling went away when I loaded the can into the saddlebags of my chopper and drove home making "vroom vroom" noises with my mouth, just to add to the overall manliness. Just in case somebody saw me.

Last week we planted carrots, tomatoes, onions, green peppers, brinjals, courgettes, coriander (for the missus), spinach, and lettuce. The numbers were: one per square of the tomatoes, brinjals and peppers, four per square of the lettuce, courgettes, and spinach, and nine each of onions, carrots and coriander.

So with all that variety in such a small box I started the week full of hope and enthusiasm. How little did I know dear reader. How little did I know.

The first thing I must confess is this: it doesn't smell better. It's still stinky, but only up close. At least the kitchen doesn't smell like a farm yard any more. That said, I do still give my hands a more than usually good scrubbing when ever I touch the soil.

The second thing is: I think we planted the seeds too deep. The packets say one centimetre below the surface. We planted about 2-3 centimetres down. I'm hoping this just means it'll take longer to see the shoots and not that I have killed the garden before it's even begun.

We have been watering once or twice a day, depending on how dry the soil looks.

For the first few days I may have overdone it a smidge.

The top gets really dry, but just under the surface it is nice and moist.

(Look at me pretending I know what the difference is between moist and wet. I have no idea if I am watering these seeds or drowning them. To be honest: this is causing no small amount of anxiety. I will be extremely relieved when the first shoots appear. I may even dance a jig. I'll be sure to add photos.)

So, in a nutshell, week 1 of having a micro garden is pretty boring. It's not a lot of work, but it has caused more than its fair share of anxiety. I find myself standing in the doorway of the kitchen, morning coffee in hand, looking over my mini field devoid of all crops and thinking to myself: "winter is coming."

Week 1: Thinking Inside the Box

When I first discovered micro gardening, or "Square Meter Gardening" as some people call it, I was blown away. The very idea that you could feed your family with just a few boxes of well placed vegetables seemed surreal and definitely way too good to be true. If it was true however: it would be a complete indictment on the human species that we weren't teaching this technique to every kid in  every school and any one else willing to listen. Particularly in Africa.

This brings us to this blog. I have studied the technique of Square Meter Gardening, in as much as you can call it "studying". It is really simple and, again, sounds too good to be true, so I decided to test it out and build my very own micro patch of heaven in the courtyard behind my kitchen. 

For the record: I don't have a green thumb. My wife, Nandi, and I manage to kill most of the plants we get given within a week. This is going to be a true test of just how 'easy' this technique is. If we can do it: anyone can. 

So this is week 1: thinking inside the box. The whole concept of square meter gardening is that you plant in boxes not in the ground. I suppose this would keep the nutrients generated by the technique in the area you are planting. Makes sense. I think. 

This week we built the box and planted the seeds. 

After a quick visit to the local building supplies store, which conveniently had a gardening section, we came home to get started.

Man is never more at his most man than when he is using tools (and wearing safety boots). So I pulled out my trusty hammer and set to work constructing the box. Having not wielded a hammer in years, I think I did a pretty good job, while my wife made supportive cooing sounds from the doorway of the kitchen. 

The process was pretty easy: 5 nails a side, turn and repeat.

And here is the finished box: well done us! 

It was now time to add the compost mix. To be honest: I didn't really research this terribly well. 

I bought two bags of what looked like the right stuff and dumped it in the middle of the box. It smelled like the seventh layer of hell. It was horrible. We immediately attracted a horde of flies. "Don't worry," I told my wife reassuringly, "it wont smell this bad once we add the rest." (I had no idea what I was talking about. Look at me pretending to be a garden veteran. She looked at me with that look only a wife can give when she knows her husband is talking absolute bull and said: "uh-huh", before walking back into the kitchen.) 

Thankfully I was right. I have been making a bit of my own compost in the bottom of the garden for about two months now, and once we filled the box with "Zill's Wonder Mix", it did indeed smell better. (Or maybe we just got used to it? You'll have to come for tea and tell me if my sense of smell is forever broken; a distinct possibility considering how pungent the odour was.)

Next we had to divide the box into squares. This is another key principle of the technique. each square is to house its own variety of vegetable. You are supposed to have 16 squares per box, but since our box was slightly smaller than a meter by a meter, so that it would fit on the table, we only made 9. 

Once we were done we gave the mix a good watering and planted our seeds. (More on that next week)

All we have to do now is wait. Wait and water.